What is Owed
by decuvieri
Summary: Speedy's sense of devotion to a former lover led him to make a decision that may put the Teen Titans, along with his relationship with Aqualad, in imminent danger.
1. Beatdown

**Category:** Teen Titans  
**Warnings:** Language, slash content  
**Genre:** Drama  
**Summary: **Speedy's sense of devotion to a former lover led him to make a mistake that may put the Teen Titans, along with his relationship with Aqualad, in imminent danger.

What is Owed

"Finally," Bumblebee said to herself, the Tower looming into view. While the dark blue Titans East tower was typically an less impressive sight than the freestanding white sister tower in the sunny West, after a morning of scrambling to get everyone out of bed and the subsequent four hour flight in the cramped T.E. Ship the young woman was pretty damn happy to see her home base again.

Three days of bliss they had been granted. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday – weekdays on which crime was a minimum - to leave Steele's clammy climate and go south to hang out on the beaches, visit night clubs, meet people, and pretend that they were actually normal people for once, if only briefly.

Unfortunately, when one is a teenage prodigy it's hard to escape the life of super heroism. As it would turn out the reputation of Bumblebee's team had, in fact, drifted down to the warmer portions of the coast. Bumblebee had no doubt that while her hand still ached it must have been nothing in comparison to how bad Speedy's and Aqualad's must have been feeling after all those autographs.

Some vacation it had turned out to be. Tuesday it had rained all day, keeping most of the team penned inside the hotel. And boy, did a stir crazy set of twins manage to cause all hell: Bumblebee and Aqualad had to try their damnedest to keep the team from getting booted out of their rooms, and Speedy was no help. He had taken to the lobby, charming girls with his (admittedly catchy) pickup lines and good looks. The next two days had been very similar to that with the exception that they'd been on the beach mostly, making their trip an uncontrolled chaos.

Bumblebee couldn't help but feel at least a bit envious of Speedy. He was lucky. He was normal. He could turn off his superhero life with the mere removal of a mask (though he practically never did) and return to the public. Not so much with the rest of them. Having insect wings tends to draw stares, and Mas and Menos were a pretty distinctive pair even if only in swim trunks. Aqualad – now, Bumblebee felt bad for the poor Atlantean. As if adapting to life on the surface wasn't hard enough on the guy, he had those eyes. Uniformly black. Definitely an attention getting trait on a soul who definitely did _not_ want attention. His looks and physique didn't help, ushering in bikini clad fan girls in flocks. The trip had probably been more stressful on Aqualad than relieving but he never once complained.

And now it was over. Speedy was sporting a nice tan for such a fair skinned redhead, the twins had burned off a lot of energy, Bumblebee had gotten the phone numbers of a couple cuties from that club and Aqualad could breathe again. They were home. Back to work, boys.

They were actually pretty close when Aqualad said into his microphone, "Shouldn't the landing garage be opening?" Bumblebee looked to the top of the tower and saw the doors were actually still closed. They were supposed to be automatic.

"Crap. One of these days I am going to get Cyborg back here and have him make what equipment we _do_ have operational."

Speedy snorted. "You always say that, but you never call because you're too in love with him to face the guy."

"Speedy-!" she started to shout, but the audio feedback echoed in the team's headsets. In the cockpit across from Bumblebee Aqualad visibly shirked in recoil. Menos took his off and tossed it on the console. The young woman had to force down her frustration. "Just… put us down on the roof. We'll open the doors from the inside."

The archer shrugged and reached for the controls in front of him, taking lead of the Ship. The forfeiture of her responsibilities as pilot allowed Bumblebee to lean over and get a better look at the tower. It was completely dark.

"Looks like the generators failed again."

"Meaning all the systems will have to be reset and reactivated," sighed the Atlantean. The thought of entering all those codes and numerical sequences into the primary computer again was mind numbing. Maybe if he could put off doing it until tomorrow he could get Mas and Menos to help. They could type way faster than he ever could, and the numbers should be no problem to copy.

Speedy orchestrated a flawless landing of the T.E. Ship on his own. As they touched down gently (Aqualad had been incredulous that local law enforcement was so desperate for help that they'd give a multi-million dollar transport unit to three teenagers and a couple 12-year-olds) Bumblebee unlatched the seatbelt and began weaving herself out. Home sweet home.

"It's already eleven thirty. Mas, Menos? You two can go on to bed. Speedy and Al, let's just get the primary systems running. We'll save the big stuff for tomorrow."

"Thank God," Speedy's cockpit opened, giving him space to stretch out. Aqualad wasted no time in jumping from his own travel space, unsteady legs carrying him to help Menos out of his seat. After releasing an impressive yawn the archer continued, "Let's get this over with. I'm beat."

The five Titans gathered their luggage and got in through the rooftop access. They had to virtually drag each other through the dark building. In the moments it had taken Aqualad to pick him up out of his cockpit and help him to the ground Menos had fallen asleep in the ocean dweller's arms, snoozing contently. He just carried the Spanish-speaker rather than wake him, and Mas walked alongside the Atlantean. Every so often he bumped into Aqualad's leg, strafing because he was so tired. Feeling sympathetic and appreciative, the team's leader took it upon herself to bring in Aqualad's bag.

Upon seeing some flickering of illumination within Bumblebee whispered, "At least the backup power kicked in this time. Probably lost the security system's function, but at least we won't have to encode everything again."

"Right now let's focus on not breaking our necks on the stairs. Most of the lights are out," remarked Speedy, walking in front of Aqualad. Hey, if he was going to fall carrying Menos, the lease he could do would be try to catch them.

From the back of the line Bumblebee began delegating duties. "I'll see if I can get us back to full power. Speedy, put the energy that we do have into doing a thermal scan of the tower, just in case."

"Got it."

"Al, after you put them down," she, of course, was referring to the twins, "would you mind sending off a message to the Chief of Police informing them that we're home, then get the city alarm back online?"

"Not at all," he said.

They finally got to the main hub and it fell to Speedy to pry the door open. The noise that resulted could have woken the dead but Menos seemed impervious. Aqualad began walking towards the balcony stairs to take the super speed twins to bed.

"You want me to put your stuff in your room or leave it here?" Bumblebee asked him.

"Here's fine, thank you," the prince smiled appreciatively. Given that Aqualad's room was on the ground level very near the generators it would have been simple for her to drop it off, but naturally he didn't want to cause even a slight inconvenience. Bumblebee was dwelling on how he always bent over backwards to be helpful, even when they were practical strangers trying to overthrow Brother Blood, when she saw the green robes on the balcony.

"Al, lookout!" she shrieked, and somehow that managed to wake up Menos when even grinding gears could not. Aqualad looked up the stairs, seeing for the first time what was probably there all along.

"Hello, Titans. Just thought I would stop in for a visit."

"You… But how?" he stammered, but the only answer Cheshire was intent on giving involved a high jump an what would have been a direct kick to the face had the Atlantean not been fast enough to roll over the railing and off the stairs, Menos hugging his neck the whole way back down to the floor.

Speedy whirled around at the commotion. He couldn't believe his eyes at first because rationalization said that, no, Cheshire could not be in Titans East Tower. She was permanently frozen and locked away in the sewers below Paris with a hundred other criminals.

Evidentially not.

"Es la chica de gato!" Menos rambled as Aqualad set him down. The Atlantean saw that his evasive maneuver left Cheshire incredibly close to an unprotected Mas, though Bumblebee was quick enough to take action. Wings humming with furious speed, the leader of Titans East b-lines straight for Mas and boldly put herself between child and assassin.

Cheshire did just as Bumblebee had suspected and charged her, closing the gap between them with lightening speed. The claws the young murderess were so famous for were drawn back for a strike that could have been the end of a certain biologist had it not been for the sweeping wall of water that shot forth from the pools of water on the other side of the room. Manipulating the water to pack a serious punch, Aqualad slammed Cheshire into the wall with everything he had.

"Come on," Bumblebee said, picking up Mas and quickly vacating the area. "Speedy, activate the security lock down!"

Sense came back to the archer with an abrupt rush of adrenaline. Turning to run towards the control console, he dumped his vacation bag without realizing that his only means of defense was securely stored within. The power cut had left the security module practically useless, Speedy realized, and if the lack of electricity didn't do it then having a teenage Atlantean prince being thrown into the panel certainly would. Speedy narrowly missed being taken out by Aqualad, who had been knocked back with a strength that was almost unheard of and crashed into the keyboard, utterly demolishing it with a pained moan.

"Mas y Menos!" came a familiar battle cry, "Si podemos!"

Flinging water with every movement, Cheshire bounded backwards to safety from the violent red flashes of the twins' movement. The fatigue must have truly been crippling the boys, for on the third attempt to knock Cheshire's legs out from under her the graceful fighter made her move: with a wild toss of her head, Cheshire's tied hair slammed into Menos, sending him sprawling on the floor. A quick kick to the stomach left Mas winded and tumbling in the other direction.

"Here, have a hospitality gift!" roared Bumblebee, throwing a bolt from the one stinger she had been carrying. The other was still in her backpack where it had remained throughout their entire vacation, unused and happy about it. Cheshire herself easily avoided the blast, but the current struck the puddles of water on the floor and followed the assassin

A muffled cry broke out from behind the unflinching mask, though it was brief. No way a professional like Cheshire would have allowed herself to remain distracted for long. With inhuman strength Bumblebee's opponent jumped from the floor and landed on a nearby wall that was dry and free of the electric trap. Those indestructible claws scratched and dug into the wall, holding her up so steady that it all appeared to be an effortless acrobatic stunt. Bumblebee tried to zap at her again but missed; Cheshire performed summersault to put her safely back on the floor and out of harm's way. Bumblebee never got the chance to defend herself from the roundhouse to her head.

In the matter of moments four Titans were down. Just one left to go.

Speedy didn't know what he was doing. His bow was in the zipped duffle within his reach, yet it was a world away. No time to get it out without being pummeled first, but without it he was a dud. It felt like the world was on fast forward but he could only move in slow motion. His hand had gone for the bag while Cheshire was on the far side of the room. By the time fingertips grasped metal she was right there, in his face, mask flashing an overjoyed smile at his unarmed and vulnerable state.

Kneed in the chest, Speedy fell on his back with no sign of the characteristic agility that usually kept his enemies at a distance. Cheshire, on the other hand, was at the top of her game. A fluid motion resulted in the villainess straddling the downed archer, soaked sleeves slipping away to reveal the silvery razors that were her primary weapons. Speedy was happy to see that at least they were not presently coated in the poisons the masked girl crafted so well. Getting hacked at was one thing, but to suffer from poison in a wound was quite another.

The metallic point gleamed in the light at is just barely grazed the tip of Speedy's nose, a curious gesture that could have been taken as playful had it not been carried out with a lethal precision. And even though they weren't her real eyes, Speedy could not tear his gaze away from the painted feline-like mask as the wearer gently promised, "I'll be back for you later, lover boy."

The muffled words stunned the archer, and even after the agile villainess leaped off of him and bounded towards the massive bay windows Speedy found himself incapable of moving. The other Titans had no problem springing back into life, however, and Bumblebee launched a bolt of electricity from her stinger at Cheshire's back. The attack, while not the most honorable of moves, should have put the intruder down for the count. It did not.

Instead of being laid out Cheshire pulled off an impressive back hand spring over the electrical current. When the stinger's attack hit the bay window the glass practically exploded outward, and now provided with a means to leave, Cheshire easily bounded out the gaping hole and plummeted from view. With a curse Aqualad ran to the window to perhaps stop her flight, but all there was to see was a dark, churching ocean.

"She's gone," he announced, turning back to the group. Speedy had finally grown the sense to pick himself up off the floor while the twins raced to Bumblebee's side. The Atlantean exchanged a perplexed look with his team leader, silently representing his clear unease. "What just happened?"

Speedy just sat in a numb silence and Bumblebee, weight shifting from one leg to the other, haplessly murmured, "Our homecoming just got crashed."

---------------------

It had been too late to call Titans West for help that night so the team had to settle for handling the most immediate problems. The primary power generator had been put out of commission by a certain unexpected guest, resulting in the Tower automatically shutting down unnecessary functions to conserve energy. Doors that used to open on their own accord now had to be pried open manually, only a third of the overhead lights now dimly illuminated the hallways and main hub, and the thermostat – one system of two function that was at full capacity, the other being the computer network – was pulling double duty to compensate for the chill wind blowing into the command center's newly broken window. There was plenty of work to do.

Bumblebee, the team member with the most mechanical know-how, had set to work on restoring power. Every so often the lights would flicker to indicate her progress or lack thereof, and after forty minutes Aqualad figured the young woman must have been getting at least mildly frustrated. He couldn't speculate on it too much because his job was to secure a tarp to the frame of the broken window. So far he hadn't been having much luck.

"Can you help me out for a minute?" he called from atop the ladder. Leaping from high planes to water? Sure. But balancing on shaky, narrow ladders was something the Atlantean was not too keen on, and damned if he was going to crack his skull open as Speedy sat on a comfortable chair just twenty feet away.

The archer quickly finished typing in a command into the computer before pushing his seat out. The screen flashed and gave no indication that anything was out of the ordinary which, for some reason, only made him feel more at unease. Speedy picked bow up off the floor.

"I've done four perimeter checks, two internal scans and city-wide search for her. Absolutely nothing. Hold up that corner," he instructed as an afterthought. Aqualad leaned over as far as he dared to support the tarp and keep it as straight as possible. Speedy notched an arrow to his bow and drew back, still talking. "What I don't get is how she got into the Tower without setting off the proximity alarms. This place should have gone on lock down and beeped us the moment she stepped foot inside."

The arrow sang a high note before coming to an abrupt stop with a _thunk_ not too far from Aqualad's head. The tarp's corner became bolted to the wall, letting the seafaring warrior to give his arms a short rest. "What I don't know get is how Cheshire escaped from her permanent sleep," he replied. Another cold gust blew through the unsecured sides of the tarp, sending shivers up the prince's spine.

_Thunk_, _thunk_. The top of the makeshift window was now securely fasted to the frame, leaving only gaps that would have to be duct taped over. Aqualad started to climb down to find a roll, only half-listening at Speedy's slow, daunted response.

"She must be pretty crafty."

"Doesn't matter. We'll find her, and we'll find whoever let her loose. I think it was pretty clear that she didn't intend to come back tonight, so try to calm down, Speedy."

"Hm?"

"You just seem really jumpy." Speedy felt an awkward grin coming on. He should have expected Aqualad to pick up on his mood; for some one unaccustomed to dealing with people, the Atlantean was perhaps the most observant person Speedy had ever met. Feeling he was under intense scrutiny the archer had a need to justify his behavior.

"Guess it's just because I've fought her before. More appropriately, I've gotten my ass kicked by her before. Don't know why she didn't do it again today when she had the chance. Would have been easy; I was unarmed."

"Well, you said it yourself: she's crafty. She sabotaged the Tower and laid in wait for us, only to ditch plans of catching us off guard and wiping us out? I doubt that." Aqualad walked across the room to the workbench, opening a couple of drawers of random bits – screws, glue, scissors, and the like – until he finally located some duct tape. He took both it and one of the scissors. "Cheshire was definitely here to send a message, and if that message means the Brotherhood is back then we'll have to act on it. But not tonight."

And when Aqualad walked past Speedy to ascend the groaning ladder once more he leaned over, parted the archer's lips with his own and gave him the briefest of kisses. Before Speedy could force his brain into working order Aqualad had already turned away, preparing to secure the tarp.

What had been going on between the two oldest boys of Titans East was something that neither one of them had been able to really define. To say that they were "dating" was too simplistic for a relationship several months in the making, but on the other hand they were hardly a committed couple. Speedy still had occasional flings outside the team and Aqualad knew that: it was hardly a secret Speedy liked girls, and Aqualad enjoyed his independence anyway. Speedy had suggested the phrase "friends with benefits" once, but hearing it spoken aloud didn't have the right effect. They weren't just friends who occasionally stole kisses or enjoyed wandering hands when no one was looking. There was a bond there, like it or not, and there was no denying they had a love for each other even if it was hardly ardent.

Finally it became clear that no one had ever thought of something to call what Speedy and Aqualad were, so what could the Titans do but leave it at that? They accepted being in unchartered territory. Things seemed to have been working out thus far.

"Why don't you just get some rest? I can handle this," Aqualad suggested. Though Speedy's first instinct was to decline he couldn't push aside the fatigue plaguing his aching body, and for a moment had to fight with himself to keep his act together.

"I'm going to quick issue a bulletin to the suits-" Speedy's own reference to local police. "-and give them a heads up to be on the lookout for a cat masked girl with razor claws wearing a green yukata."

"I'm really surprised you know that it's called a yukata."

He sat down to the computer (not flat panel display) and started typing up a report to send to the Chief of Police, whom would probably grumble about getting an APB at two in the morning before eventually sending it out to the other officers. "TV has taught me everything I need to know to move to Japan. The US has to import these lame cartoons now because we apparently can't make our own."

"You're still watching cartoons?"

"The twins, man. I still don't get why Spanish speaking kids watch those shows from Japan. Language barriers."

Aqualad wasn't much of a TV person so the reference was lost on him. Instead he changed the subject. "You know by the time anyone sees her it'll be too late. She'll have either fled or completely taken them out."

"At least this way they'll know what hit them. You sure you don't want me to help you?"

"Go to bed."

Speedy sighed, stood up and adjusted the quiver strap on his shoulder. No point in arguing when all that would come out of his mouth was a drab yawn, so Speedy grumbled some manner of good night to the Atlantean and trudged out the formerly automatic door which now sat wide open, devoid of any power.

The shadowy hall loomed on into a dark eternity, giving the archer ample time to realize how much shit he had gotten himself into. Eight months. It had been eight long months since the Brotherhood of Evil catastrophe which had landed almost all of the Teen Titans – including himself, thank you Cheshire – biologically frozen in time. If they had wanted to the Brotherhood could have easily killed all those they had captured, but they'd gotten cocky. They thought they had frozen everyone who could have made a difference, and aside from a few straggling Titans whom had retreated to regroup, world domination and all that bull was theirs.

Had it not been for Beast Boy's determination to make it happen there would have been no resistance, no upheaval, and no salvation. Just a bunch of statues on a shelf to mock for all eternity. Now, the Justice League probably would have intervened sooner or later, but who knows what could have resulted from that. The Brotherhood might have used the Titans as hostages for leverage or just killed them all on the spot. The Teen Titans had lucked out.

And then Speedy had to go and push it. Looking back it all seemed so stupid. What had he been thinking? Now everyone could be facing the same danger all over again, and this time their luck probably wouldn't be enough.

He reached his room, the clearly printed letters of his alias distinguishing his personal space from the identical doors of the others. Speedy stood in front of it for more than a moment, so lost in thought that he'd forgotten that it wasn't about to open itself for him. It took some time to remember the power was still being conserved, and with some annoyance at himself the teenager slid his fingers in the crevice of the door so that he could muscle it open. The mechanical gears resisted at first but soon gave in to his strength. Speedy entered his bedroom using only the little light from the hall to navigate since there was no hope of closing the door again anyway.

The bow hit the floor first, then quiver. Speedy began peeling off his shirt so that it could follow its predecessors (and about two weeks worth of dirty laundry) down there too when a glittering light outside his window caught his eye. The archer swore beneath his breath, bounded across the room and crouched on the ledge of the window sill. He scanned the outside for movement or a sign of something that should not be there – particularly a girl with excellent wall scaling skills – but saw nothing but the twinkling movement of the ocean several stories below.

"I'm loosing it," he muttered to himself, stepping off the sill and trying to avoid the fragile belongings of his that probably should not have been stored on the floor. To think, none of this would have happened had he not given Cheshire a loophole; an opportunity to free herself from her frozen prison. It had been a very, very small chance, but it had set Speedy's mind at ease from guilt knowing that he'd given her something.

Now he was feeling guilt of a different kind. She was out in Steele City, probably planning to cause all hell, and it was all thanks to him. And for what? She wouldn't have done the same thing for him – not unless she was feeling incredibly indulgent and absolutely sure he had no means of escape. She was one the bad guys from the start, one of the absolute worst, and the ease of which she captured and sacrificed the archer to The Brain indicated no signs of obvious grief.

Speedy's team was in danger and it was his fault.

Even though he was dog tired Speedy's bed wasn't as welcoming as he'd hoped. Sleep seemed to be a distant goal with his head raveled up in all these thoughts of what a moron he could be sometimes. He felt around on the floor for the remote to his TV but stopped short, remembering the damn power shortage. He wished Bumblebee would hurry up with the generator. Or accept some help, at least. Being the only girl on the team meant she felt a need to assert her alpha female status and take charge, which didn't always have the best results. Then again, Speedy didn't have room to talk: Aqualad had been chosen second in command over him for a reason, and that reason was most certainly his ego.

At one time Speedy thought that she might be "the one". Most girls he dated were push-over personalities with high pitched laughs that rang out at even the lamest of jokes. Not Cheshire. Not Jade. She was a "shut the hell up and listen when I'm talking to you" kind of girl, the kind that would kick your ass into gear if you stepped out of line. And Speedy absolutely loved it. Losing her might have been why Speedy was such a frequent browser of available young women in nigh clubs and forgot their names the next morning, sometimes within the hour. Depended on how easily the chick put out. But Cheshire definitely had something to do with his touch-and-go relationship with Aqualad, who was a take no bullshit person himself.

Realizing he'd been trying to recreate his thing for Cheshire through the Atlantean proved that he could, in fact, feel even shittier than he currently was.

Twisting to a pose that was hardly graceful, Speedy pulled off his boots one at a time and threw them across the room. His famous aim wasn't with him as Speedy was fairly certain that the shoes were at least several feet apart, but as long as they were at least in the same room it was fine. Maybe the creator of the soft footsteps coming down the hall would trip on them and break their neck if they tried to enter. Speedy fell still, listening hard.

Not the twins. They were already asleep by now and these steps were too far apart for their size. Bumblebee wore boots that would have clicked on the hard floor, and Aqualad's room was on the ground level. In an instant of irrational panic the archer wondered if it could possibly be _her_, coming down the hallways for him in her soft soled boots, intending to make good on her promise tonight after all. Whatever she had meant when she said she'd be back was still subject to speculation: if it meant kidnapping him and whisking him away or just slitting his throat as he slept, Speedy was almost positive he didn't want to know what Cheshire had in store for him.

When Aqualad peeked around the door Speedy realized he wouldn't be finding out tonight. "Jesus, you scared the hell out of me, you little spy."

"Not a spy," Aqualad insisted, "Just checking in. I thought you might not be sleeping."

"Didn't know you were my new babysitter. Did Bumblebee leave a list of emergency contact information?"

"She probably should have. It's been almost two hours now, so I went down to see how she was doing with the power."

"And?"

The Atlantean smirked. "Do you have any electricity right now?"

"You would have been locked out of here if there was."

"Then we can assume it's not going very well. I went down to check on our esteemed leader and narrowly escaped a ratchet thrown in frustration. Cheshire must have really done a number on the wiring to get Bee that upset."

Speedy sat propped up on his elbows, eyes straining to make out his companions' silhouette with the little illumination they did have. It was for his own good that it was dark, he reasoned, because if Aqualad could see Speedy's face he probably would have picked up on the distress in an instant.

Aqualad entered the room without invitation and expertly made his way around the tools and clothes on the floor until he reached Speedy's bed. The mattress sank from the gentle weight of the Atlantean's body sitting on the edge.

"Will you tell me what's wrong now? What's _really_ bothering you?" he asked, leaning back and draping himself across Speedy's torso. The way he was settling in was a sure sign that he was going to have a conversation with Speedy whether he liked it or not. Resolve fading, the archer decided that he just as well come out with something. Not the whole story, but an indicator of his discomfort.

"Cheshire. When she pinned me to the floor she pretty much let me know she was going to return; that she would be coming back… for me."

Aqualad turned his head to face him. "Speedy, why didn't you say so before? This is really serious. You could be in a lot of danger."

"I don't think so. Not right at this moment, anyway. Like you said, she wouldn't have purposefully thrown away the advantage of catching us off guard if she was just going to launch an attack. All she was here to do was make her presence known to us. To rattle my nerves." He felt a surge of angry panic growing in his chest, all of it directed at himself. "It's working."

"Why though? This isn't the first time she's come after you. It's like she's making it personal."

Lie. That was his first instinct. Lie. "Yeah, well, women are just drawn to me. I can't help it if they're inherently evil."

"Oh, listen to you talk," teased Aqualad, his smile still brilliant even in the shadows. He rolled over carefully so that he was on his stomach, resting now on Speedy's chest. The archer suspected Aqualad's placement of an elbow jabbing into his ribs was no accident. "Tomorrow you have to tell Bumblebee about this. You've been threatened, so we have to decide as a group the best way to protect you."

Speedy grimaced. "Whatever."

"I'm not joking. If you don't then I will."

"Got it, thanks. I'll bring it up in the morning, but that's still a few hours away from now." Finally he grabbed Aqualad's arm, no longer able to tolerate the hard pressure in his side and forcefully moved his elbow. The former prince, devoid of his supporting arm, had to rest flat against the redhead. Now his chin dug into the archer's collarbone, but that was a pain Speedy could withstand. In fact, it was almost unnoticeable with the hot breaths pulsing against his exposed throat.

"I see. And talking to Bumblebee right now could prove disastrous. It's probably a good idea to just sit it out for a while," Aqualad was saying. Was Speedy listening? With the body of a tan, handsome and toned swimmer pressing against him his focus was almost nonexistent. Aqualad likely knew it. "Which leaves me to wonder how you're going to spend your time between now and then since you're obviously not sleeping."

"Bet you I can find something to do."

"Bet you you can." A shift, a brief contact of lusty gazes and their lips met in a hard kiss. No tentative touches or hesitance befell the pair: they'd been through all that, done all of that before, and decided they had no use for it. They weren't spellbound lovers exploring each other for the first time here. Speedy and Aqualad were teammates, rivals, friends.

"Mmph." Aqualad pulled back, laughing slightly. "You really need to shave."

"Forgive me," the archer said indulgently, just before twisting in a way that gave him the upper hand. The Atlantean hadn't the time to response before Speedy rolled them over, taking the high ground, and leaning down to rub the day-old stubble of his jaw against the sensitive skin of his partner's cheek. Aqualad writhed beneath him, laughing and trying to push him away but with little success. "Sorry about that. I wasn't exactly expecting any company tonight you know."

"Ow, stop! Stop!" how he could sputter out anything between gasps for air and laughter was amazing to Speedy. He was amazing. His body, intelligence, courage, smile, voice, eyes – fuck society and its need to put people in neat little narrow minded roles, Speedy thought. So they weren't "boyfriends". So they weren't exclusively seeing one another or hanging off each other all the time. None of it mattered, because with the Atlantean pinned beneath him, hair tussled and smiling that rare smile Speedy realized they were just an undefined thing. And as long as there was love there wasn't that good enough?

Worked for them.


	2. Letdown

**Category:** Teen Titans  
**Warnings:** Language, slash content  
**Genre:** Drama  
**Summary: **Speedy's sense of devotion to a former lover led him to make a mistake that may put the Teen Titans, along with his relationship with Aqualad, in imminent danger.

Chapter 2

The next morning Roy woke up to find a certain Atlantean lying awake beside him, gazing at the endless ocean outside his window. Grey, wispy clouds swirled in the sky as an early warning for the oncoming decline of the weather, and probably could be applied to the future of Roy's day, too. Cheshire's reign gave him not even a waking moment of repreive, hanging overhead to remind the archer that everything was on a sure course to hell.

The former apprentice of Green Arrow, with a nagging sense of dread tightening his stomach, masked his unease by gently scratching Aqualad's back. The raven haired teen practically melted under his touch for several minutes.

"Mmm, as great as that feels, we need to get up. Bee's probably already started on breakfast and we've got a lot of work today."

"It can wait ten more minutes."

"We might get a call," Aqualad insisted, leaning off the bed to scan the floor for his wetsuit. "The door closed itself last night. Bumblebee must have gotten the power cell back up. Still have to fix that console Cheshire destroyed, and the window. Then there's the matter of tracking down Greensleeves herself."

"If Cheshire doesn't want to be found then she won't be. Too stealthy, too careful." The archer played with this thought in his head. It was true. Cheshire was quick, cunning and ruthless. Far more so than Speedy, who'd been unable to defend himself from her unique combat style. But it was alright, because though Speedy hadn't an icicle's chance in hell of fighting Cheshire in close combat, he had other ways of hurting her. As Roy Harper he had sure done plenty of damage to a young woman named Jade, who hid her face from the world behind a grinning, ceramic mask.

"We can't exactly sit on our thumbs while a professional assassin's running free in our city and wait for her to make a move. Especially not after she's threatened you. Check the floor over there for my uniform, huh?"

Roy rolled over, immediately catching sight of the blue, black and white wetsuit just over an arm's length away. "All I'm saying is that there's no point running around the city without a lead to go on first. The girl's infamous in the criminal underworld for her skill. She's not some rank amateur like most of the guys we've been fighting."

"Wow," Aqualad sat up on his elbows and eyed the archer, "You've given her more compliments in the past two minutes than you've ever given me."

"Nuh-uh. Saying you don't completely reek like seaweed_ is_ a compliment." Roy strained to reach his partner's clothing, which slipped through his fingers at least once before he was able to get a hold of it. The material was unlike anything he'd ever seen in his life, and even after several occasions of removing the special article from its owner's body he still couldn't get over the unique feel of it. He chucked it at Aqualad's head before he could drop it again. It hit the Atlantean with a _whump_.

"With that charm it's no wonder how you got such a large fan base," he snorted in retaliation and shook out the wetsuit to put it on. "Remind me why I'm always sneaking in here again?"

Roy smirked devilishly. "Because it's a lot harder to have great sex on a waterbed?"

"Let's get something straight here, you uncultured cretin. A waterbed will actually intensify the experience if a certain someone could maintain any sort of rhythm," Aqualad teased, and all his did in response to the archer's glower was slide off the bed and step into his wetsuit.

"That hurts, Fishface, and there is nothing wrong with my rhythm! Admit it: this body is pristine, even by a lifelong swimmer's standards."

The brunette rolled his eyes, mocking but at the same time obviously just playing. He bunched his hair into one hand and pulled it free of his neck. "Please. It's like you have an inner ear imbalance or something. Zip me up?"

"Well, if I'm so out of sync with your needs you could try your luck with Beast Boy. He can turn into a flounder since that's more your thing." Speedy leaned over and reached over to the small pull chord. He yanked it upwards with far more force than necessary. Though the Atlantean was turned away Roy could pretty much image the look on his face. Turned out Aqualad wasn't about to play into that old taunt again.

"Flounder are more trouble than they're worth. Give me a mild mannered salmon or perch I can take home to mom any day." He turned around, stuck his tongue out at Speedy and shook his hair loose. "I'm going to work on getting the tower security back up to speed. Try to keep out any more unwelcome visitors. How long are you gonna need to get ready?"

"Don't bother trying to cover for me," the redhead grabbed his pants off the floor. His belt was still partially wrapped around the slacks. He started to tug them up to his waist. "She already thinks I'm lazy. Plus, I think it might be therapeutic for her to yell at something in the morning. Makes her less spastic."

"Ah, so there is something filling that space between your ears. What a pleasant surprise."

"Screw you."

"Did that already," the Atlantean waved carelessly and stepped over a glass cup that had been abandoned to Speedy's floor in the chaos. "Try to hurry up. I'll try to find you something to eat."

"Hey, Fishface?"

"Hm?"

Speedy shot a glance to the far side of the wall, searching for some courage. He'd already made one mistake and couldn't help wondering if he was about to make another. But now was time to step up, and of the Titans Aqualad would be the one to tell first. He had to, not only to protect himself but to protect them as well.

"If… Let's say hypothetically that I had done something not good. Something very, very not good," he rambled on, knowing how stupid he sounded both from his stammering and Aqualad's widening grin. Fuck, it was hard for Roy to force himself to break that mood. He collapsed on the bed and dropped his head in his hands. "Christ, I've really screwed up."

"How 'not good' are we talking here?" the Atlantean turned back, playful smile still lingering on his lips. Speedy was often over dramatic so he'd chalked up the show to the redhead's nature rather than assuming the worst.

"Ugh. It… It was a stupid mistake that happened a really long time ago."

"Well, we all make mistakes, and if it happened such a long time ago then why agonize about it?"

"No," the archer drawled with frustration, "It wasn't like an innocent 'oops, my bad' mistakes! This is one of those 'oh, God, I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway' kind of deals."

"And this is a big one in comparison to all the other times you've been reckless in your decisions?"

"It's a huge one. This is like in the top five stupidest things I've ever done. Top three," he rectified the statement, thoughts - and heart - racing at a pace that would have done circles around Kid Flash. This was about to go downhill quickly, and Roy kept having to stop himself from thinking about just shutting up and bailing out while he was still ahead. But the slow fade of Aqualad's expression confirmed his suspicion that any chance of backing down was pretty much gone. There's no way the Atlantean was going to let this go now.

Starting to feel the gravity of the situation, Aqualad straightened up considerably. "Maybe you should just be blunt with me here. What's going on, Speedy?"

Speedy. _Speedy._ God, that drove Roy insane. It was just an alias to hide behind, but the way Aqualad said it made the archer feel like his soul was being pierced and scoured through for every little detail. It was like when a child's parents yells at them from across the playground after they've thrown sand, incorporating the dreaded middle name and all. The only way it could have sounded more imposing was if Aqualad had called him by his real identity, and this was one of those few instances where Roy was glad the Atlantean didn't know it.

How weird was that? They were close enough for sneaking off into the locker room showers when Bee wasn't paying attention, but both were oblivious about the one thing they probably should have known about the other. That had been predominantly Aqualad's doing: apparently there were only a handful of Atlanteans that knew his name and no one on the surface, and he preferred it that way. That had really bothered Roy until he looked in Aqualad's barren, impersonal room once and realized that Aqualad's name was about the only thing he owned that was of any significance. His name was his one possession of value, so Aqualad was beyond adamant about keeping it a secret. Roy figured he would know it in due time, and withheld his own until that exchange would take place.

Of course, with the bombshell he was about to drop, Roy figured the odds of that happening any time soon were pretty much nill. In fact, the event occurring at any point in the future… He wasn't going to hold his breath.

"Cheshire and I," he paused to think of exactly what the hell he was trying to say and how he was going to put it, "She and I have history. I mean that beyond the Brotherhood thing, too. I knew her before you guys asked me to join Titans East."

Aqualad's eyes widened upon being hit with the left fielder. Too shocked to say anything probably, so Speedy continued on.

"Look, some people - I can't really tell you who, except that they're absolute bastards -- called in a few favors, and I got the short end of the stick. So I wound up working for them under cover in Hong Kong. My job was to track down and lead them to this real nasty problem they had," he flicked his hand as if brushing off the 'problem' as though it had no significance. Speedy probably had been unaware he'd even gestured, he was so raveled up in his head. "Y'know. Cheshire. Obviously, that didn't happen."

"What _did_ happen?" his partner asked. He even looked surprised that he'd blurted out the question without thinking, but Speedy just shrugged it off.

"I found her. Wove myself into the network she had going on until I finally had gotten close enough to shut the case, but then I stumbled on hints that something big was going down. Like maybe she was just a piece of a bigger picture, so I didn't hand over her location right away. I wanted to dig a little deeper. Problem was I ended up digging myself into a hole so deep with her that I couldn't get out. At the end I just let her go, saying I'd lost her trail. We had, uh, kind of fallen for each other."

"How hard exactly?" Aqualad snapped. Whether it was due to anger or jealousy, Roy didn't know, but he figured it wasn't his place to ask.

"It was pretty serious," he confessed, making eye contact to confirm Aqualad's suspicion that 'serious' meant exactly that. It probably wasn't the physical aspect of this past relationship that was the razor's edge here either: the big concern was the emotional content of the passionate fling, and the Atlantean was good to worry.

Girls in clubs were the means to curb Speedy's voracious sexual appetite. They weren't a threat, but this was different. This was competition; something Aqualad never had before. He didn't like it.

"Speedy, this would have been good to know long before now!" he growled, though still careful to maintain his composure. He was, after all, royalty even if fate had thrown him through a loop, and losing touch was not an option. So Roy had a regal looking, thoroughly pissed off Atlantean sitting not two feet away who clearly would have enjoyed decking him if not for his formal upbringing. It left the archer feeling very vulnerable. "This means Cheshire isn't just playing games: she's got a vendetta against you, and now… Why is this the first time I am hearing about this?"

It was Speedy's turn to be caught off guard. He racked his brain for an appropriate response. "Maybe because it's not something I'm proud of? I screwed up on this one, and sorry that I didn't care to just go trudging through my past looking for ways to make everyone second guess me. C'mon, I already get enough of that for other stupid things I've done!"

"You should have told me! Or Bumblebee at least! Cheshire is one of the most dangerous-- I cannot believe you never-- Did it not seem important enough to mention to us sooner?" Aqualad finally spat out amidst the sputtering of his thoughts. Speedy always did this to him: would get him so riled up that he couldn't even think straight, then all reason would be thrown out the window and the argument would become a mindless catfight that strayed away from the original subject entirely, dumbed down to petty insults and nitpicks. It took an extreme amount of self control for Aqualad to stop that from happening here. "Okay. Fine," he started with finality, "What's done is done, and there's no way to change it. So let's just go downstairs, tell Bumblebee what's going on, and then we'll figure out what to do from there. Maybe we can even use this to our advantage somehow."

Normally Roy would have been immeasurably happy to have Aqualad end what could have been a very heated fight on such a soft note -- the situation would be tense with a lot of cold shouldering going on for a few days, but in the end would be finished with at least one session of amazing make-up sex. This time the show of tact only made things harder, because Roy knew full well that he'd only told half the truth. And it wasn't even the really bad news he'd come out with so far, either.

"That's not all." He shifted uncomfortably under Aqualad's stare. Man, those eyes could rival Superman's heat vision when it came to burning holes through people. _Time to take the floor and face the music, Roy. Spit it out._ "That wasn't the only time I let Cheshire off the hook."

"What's that supposed to mean?" the Atlantean asked, one eyebrow raised. When Speedy didn't immediately reply Aqualad tried to put the pieces into place. Unfortunately, the picture that was coming together was not a pretty image. "No. Tell me you didn't."

There was no making eye contact or strong tone of resolve from the archer. Just a sunken expression to match his sinking feeling. Apologetically, he started to explain. "Cyborg asked me to set some arrow traps before we left the Brotherhood's lair. I was working near the statues and I saw her. She was light enough to be pushed, so I-"

"Don't," Aqualad tried to interrupt.

"...I moved her away from-"

"**Stop!**" Roy jumped at the command that had been barked so loud and so sharp that it practically reverberated off the walls. "I don't know where you get off unleashing your homicidal girlfriend on us all over again, but the fact that you hid it from us, knowing full well she was running around out there all this time makes you not only a liar, but a traitor as well!"

"I wasn't sure she'd gotten out until last night! All I did was move her a little farther away from the cold generator: even then I didn't know if it was enough to make a difference!"

"Is that supposed to change anything?" the Atlantean demanded in turn, "It's not your fault because you weren't positive she escaped? That she might have freed the entire Brotherhood of Evil because you weren't entirely sure you had helped her enough? What is wrong with you? By _Poseidon_, Speedy!"

"I guess-" Aqualad wasn't in the mood to let Speedy get anywhere near the end of a sentence, he was so livid.

"It was a rhetorical question! I know damn well what's wrong with you! You're an idiot who doesn't think before he acts. Who doesn't realize how he affects the people around him, and who-"

Roy's turn to cut in. "Who was in love," he finished somberly. The impact of that remark hit him twice as hard as it did Aqualad. "Already told you that I'm not proud of it. The only thing I've ever consistently done well was fuck everything up. Getting close to Cheshire was a mistake, but I have feelings for her whether I like it or not. And frankly, I think that an ability to look past the bullshit in peoples' pasts and forgive them isn't really a bad thing. I mean, you've done it for me."

It was hard for Roy to look the other in the eye. Those dark voids were hardly blank in their depth, and all the while it was all Roy could do to not turn and throw himself out the window. Plummeting from the topmost level of the tower couldn't possibly be any worse than what Aqualad was planning for him.

Surprisingly, instead of knocking Speedy flat on back with a much deserved punch to the nose, Aqualad merely spoke in a voice that the archer had to strain to hear despite their close proximity.

"There's only so much I can forgive you for, Speedy, and this is not one of those mistakes." He gave the sharpshooter a moment to absorb that. "But I'm glad at least you can live with yourself for letting her go. Of course, the rest of us may not."

Roy didn't watch him storm out of the room, automatic door springing to life and ushering the tension-causing force out of the quarters. Rather, the redhead glanced at his quiver propped alongside his treasured bow in the corner of the room. Glasses, arrow technology, CD's and even his communicator could be stored dangerously on the floor, but the durable bow and its projectiles were tucked away safely where they couldn't be stepped on. His bow was his only lifeline, after all: the only thing that would help Roy save himself when in the enemy's sights.

It might be the means to fending off Cheshire, but what was Roy supposed to do when he was drowning? He glared back at the floor, furious with himself. Not even the most powerful of trick arrows could help him now.

* * *

Sorry for the long pause in updates. I got sidetracked. By Harry Potter. Damn fictional wizards. Since I want to keep these chapters about 3-5 thousand words each and I've got the attention span of Beast Boy then I can't really promise expediant updates. I'm a writer and time constraints supress my literary genius. (Yeah, that sounds better than fessing up that I'm lazy.)

I wanted to write about the guys being more true to their characters (and needed to recharge my TT batteries), so I went and dug out my old comics and brushed up on the area. Best fic research I could have done. I think that Roy gets portrayed as a shallow jerk in too many stories (if not a completely OOC loveable sap, which is far worse than a jerk in my opinion), but I feel that the guy has quite a bit of smarts up in his head. The problem is he just makes stupid choices that get him in trouble, and I hope I'm catching that here.

Monetary donations might make me write faster. Probably not, but I have expenses, golly dang. But hey, hugs and constructive reviews rock too.


	3. Takedown

**Category:** Teen Titans  
**Warnings:** Language, slash content  
**Genre:** Drama  
**Summary: **Speedy's sense of devotion to a former lover led him to make a mistake that may put the Teen Titans, along with his relationship with Aqualad, in imminent danger.

Chapter 3

"Absolutely not," Bumblebee rejected Speedy's idea to send him out into the city in an attempt to lure Cheshire out of hiding. Both strong willed heroes had been adamantly arguing their points for several minutes: Speedy's that he could get the assassin to walk into a trap, and Bumblebee's that such an idea might as well be suicide.

"Look, we know it's me she wants. If Cheshire sees me out in the open without backup she'll lunge at the opportunity!"

"That's exactly what I've been saying!" the team's leader returned, "Speedy, she's too dangerous. Even if the rest of us were hiding out nearby we might not be able to lift a finger in the time it would take her to kill you. You saw how easily she overpowered all of us at once last night!"

"We were all tired, you only had one Stinger, and I didn't have my bow. We couldn't fight her off because we weren't expecting it, but this time we'll be ready."

"A strong planner like Cheshire is not going to act on impulse." For the first time Aqualad decided to participate in the conversation. Surprisingly, he hadn't told Bumblebee anything Roy had confided in him that morning, nor had he spoken up while the archer repeated the story yet omitted the part about setting Cheshire free from the Brotherhood's lair. All Aqualad did was listen as Speedy set aside the most important details, not even calling him on the lies. All of it made Roy feel even worse.

Bumblebee had been upset that Speedy never mentioned anything about the team's most present danger being his ex-girlfriend, but the leader decided that this wasn't the time for laying blame. Now, if she had known _all _the facts that would have been very different, but ignorance was bliss. Bumblebee nodded at Aqualad's observation.

"He's right. We pretty much know Cheshire's going to try something. It's all the more reason to keep you in the Tower where the lock down and defense systems can keep you safe. Sorry, Flyboy, but you're stayin' here."

"She already got into the Tower once," he maintained, but the others weren't up to hearing it. Rather than argue it with him further Bumblebee turned to the three remaining Titans and started dictating instructions.

"Mas and Menos, you guys scout uptown. I'll cover downtown, and Aqualad? Check out the Boardwalk and pier. It wouldn't be the first time a criminal's used those old shipyards to hide out."

Brief signals of confirmation followed before she finished. "Be thorough but quick. Follow up on whatever leads you can get and relay anything with substance back. Speedy, the police will forward any information they get here, so keep us posted."

Behind his mask Roy rolled his eyes. "Should be fun."

There was a splash off to their right which could only be explained by the otherwise unceremonious departure of Aqualad. His restlessness hadn't gone unnoticed by Bumblebee.

"Okay, we'll talk about _whatever_ you did to bother him later." She crossed her arms and wasn't so much as distracted by the burst of wind the two super speedsters created as they bolted out of the common room in a blur of red and white. The two remaining Titans were left alone in the echoing recreation center. "I've been in touch with the other Titans. Robin had Raven teleport to Paris."

"And?" he prodded, starting to feel a tightening in his chest.

"She says the place is just the same as we left it with the exception of Cheshire. Looks like she was the only one who got out. They can't figure out how, though: the device keeping them frozen is operational."

"Well, maybe some one from the outside let her go?"

Bumblebee shook her head. "All the exits are still sealed by Raven's wards, and Sparky says the motion sensorts he laid around the Brotherhood's den haven't been triggered. They say she might have gotten past it through the ventilation system. But all that aside, I'm thinking it's very strange," she gave him a sizing look, "that the one person to miraculously escape that prison happens to be your ex."

Roy's heart stopped, and it was all he could do to try and not appear as though he was guilty as sin. "What are you saying?"

"Is there anything else you know that could help us out here? Obviously there's some unfinished business between you two if Cheshire feels strongly enough to come for you after all this time. And, to be blunt, you were unattended in that base, setting traps once everyone was out of the way."

"You're accusing me of letting her go?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything. All I'm saying is you were the last person down there before Raven sealed it closed, so if you saw anything before you left-"

"I didn't!" he snapped defensively, "And yeah, there is unfinished business! The break up was ugly and I'm sure she was pissed, but Cheshire never knew me as Speedy. She probably found out my hero identity and is coming to exact revenge or whatever, but the feelings I had for her stopped when she started handing Titans off to the Brotherhood!"

"Okay, okay! Calm down. Look, the news of a Brotherhood member running loose got Robin all riled up, so just be ready for him to paige the Tower. I gotta get movin'." Bumblebee hovered off the floor, wings humming. "I'm not foolin' around, Speedy. Stay put."

She left the same way the twins had, the doors opening only because the lock down command identified her as some one with credentials to pass through it. Some of the most sophisticated technology of its time, developed by Cyborg himself. Facial recognition made the system virtually impossible to route. Unless, of course, you were Madam Rouge.

But how had Jade done it? Still seething that he'd pretty much been dismissed despite being the one who knew Cheshire best, Roy examined the three-inch thick door in thought. Aqualad had put the Tower on this same lock down setting when the team had gone on vacation, so in theory no one should have gotten inside. The doors showed no signs of forced entry, and not even a cat mask would have been an acceptable method of bypassing of the system. No mask would have been: Cyborg had been adamant that even if you tried to create a copy of the team's face the computers used iris mapping among other precise measurements of the features of the face, height, approximate weight (much to Bumblebee's insecurity), and if there was a shred of doubt then it required voice confirmation. It was fool proof.

"Staring at it won't reveal the secret, Roy."

"Jesus!" he spun around, shirking the warm hand off his shoulder so he could come face-to-mask with its owner. It was his automatic reaction and the worst thing he could have done, because as Roy made his vulnerable front vulnerable to Cheshire she seized the chance to throw him off his balance. Roy was hit square in the chest with the long bundles of black hair that were her trademark.

The archer stumbled but caught himself, and it was with dwindling hope did Roy realize he was without his bow. **Again.** He'd dropped it on the sofa when Bumblebee had first told him he couldn't leave the Tower. A few meters was so far away when one's life hangs on the whims of a woman scorned, and the outlook for Roy's continued breathing was pretty bleak. He felt a simple sensation of warmth on his left side - nothing painful or even a remote indication of the wounds where Cheshire's claws had just gored him. It was just a tingling that spread unnervingly quick as Roy tried to relocate his center of gravity and practice self defense at the same time.

His attacker backed off, giving Roy the chance to press his hand to the origin of the strange feeling. His palm came back splotched with blood.

"Oh, _shit_," he moaned. The entire realization lumped in his head slowly, thickly, not coming quickly enough for the archer to put it all together that Cheshire, Jade, had gotten one of those damn poisons of hers into his bloodstream. And hell, this stuff worked fast. Roy was starting to feel a lameness in his shoulder and the tingling in his thigh, both on the left side. Figuring he'd better find something to lean on before he lost control of his body altogether, Roy limped to the wall and sank against it.

A muffled voice from behind the mask spoke. "Stop being such a drama queen. The left claw's just a muscle relaxant. It's pretty intense, but it'll wear off." Cheshire held up her right hand, and the sleeve of her yukata slipped down to reveal the blades there. "If I wanted to kill you, this would have done the trick."

Alright. That was slightly reassuring, as Speedy figured that being a lame duck was a step up from being a dead one. "How'd you get here? I did the scans myself!"

"You Titans never learn. One would think the crisis with the communicators would have taught you not to rely on technology too heavily, but..." she faded off, giving a little shrug. Roy's left knee finally gave out and he slid to the floor. "While you and your friends were happily on vacation your power grid went down. From there it was a simple matter of walking through the front door, rebooting the computers and hacking myself in."

"But why didn't you ever come up on the city-wide searches?"

Cheshire flipped her tied hair back over her shoulder. "You dolt, I never left the Tower. Thought I would hang out in the guest bedroom. It was kind of chilly in there," she added as an afterthought, but Roy was more stunned by her complete disregard for stealth. She'd been four floors below Roy's bedroom this entire time, just waiting for the ideal moment?

"So why didn't the internal checks detect you?"

"I already said that I hacked myself into the mainframe. You had the computers search for something in the Tower that does not belong here and it found nothing of the sort."

He could put two and two together. "You changed your status to identify yourself as a member of the Titans, so the system recognized you as one of us and didn't alert."

"I'm telling you, technology is not to be trusted. The best approach is always the hands-on way."

"God, you sound like Aqualad." He didn't really know why he said it. Maybe subconsciously he wanted to bring the Atlantean into this encounter even if it was only in a rhetorical sense, though Roy really wouldn't have minded his physical presence, either. Because while Fishface might be angry as hell with Roy, the archer was pretty sure it could be overlooked with Cheshire in the picture.

"I bet, especially since it looks like he's just as fed up with you as I am. Don't look so surprised: you thought I'd lurk in this place for two whole days without planting a few cameras here and there? Your room is disgusting, by the way. How hard is it for you to wash your dishes?"

Even though he was numb all over Speedy couldn't help but glower. "Now you _really_ sound like Aqualad."

"Speaking of whom, what he said was pretty harsh. Not the forgiving type, is he?" the assassin commented breezily, jumping to sit up on the counter. Roy felt himself bristle at the eavesdropping on his private conversations. Then he realized his ex-girlfriend probably had been dropping in on other private matters between himself and the Atlantean. The archer felt sick to his stomach.

"Why are you here, Jade?" he snapped, trying to divert attention away from the topic at hand. Cheshire carefully took the edges of her mask and pulled the obstructing layer away, mindful of the glistening metal points that hovered dangerously close to her unmarred skin.

"Right to the point. That's not the Roy I used to know. You always loved to beat around the bush, playing your little flirting games, enticing and elusive. It what drew me to you in the first place." The ceramic face, still bearing its vibrant smile, clinked on the countertop where she set it down. "But now we're all business, I see. You pick that up from your boyfriend?"

Now that the unreadable barrier between them had been separated Roy found that it was becoming a lot harder to maintain his resolve. He should have been pissed as all get-out, scrambling to think of some way to fight or relay a message to the others - he could still move his toes, meaning the sedative might have been weak enough to combat if he truly tried - but there was nothing going on in his head. Nothing but those piercing green eyes, just as gorgeous as they'd always been, getting the exact befuddled reaction from him Jade had been trying for.

"Things change. People change, even if you're still set in your old ways," he said, his last attempt to change the subject by provoking the prideful young woman. She seemed to take the bait.

Jade let out an amused chuckle. "What? You're angry that I took up the Brotherhood's offer of membership? Or are you just upset that I came looking for you when it was all was said and done?"

"After all that talk about struggling to cope with your morals in your profession you chose to align yourself with the scum of the earth! And for what? What was so enticing that you would just set aside everything for those lunatics?"

"You want to know what they promised me?" the pretty girl leaned forward on the edge of the counter, expression anything but a sly grin. She looked quite furious, actually. "Mallah came to me with no allusions of infinite wealth or a monopoly on my trade like he'd used to hook those other moronic lowlifes." With great care she reached in to the folks of her yukata and drew out, much to Roy's surprise, one of his own energy arrows. Though the projectile had been expended of its use Speedy's insignia was still visible on the tip. "That side show reject knew exactly what I wanted, and I jumped at the chance to find out, finally, what the _hell_ ever happened to Roy Harper!"

The arrow clattered on the ground, recoiling from the force of her throw. The sound echoed in Speedy's ears like a lonely cackle at his plight: a useless weapon sat not a yard away, and he didn't even have the strength to reach for it.

"Speedy of the Teen Titans," she spat his name as though it left her with a bitter aftertaste, "I didn't even believe him at first. I thought I knew you. There was no way that Roy, as passionate and carefree as he was, could have possibly been with the Titans. Then Mallah showed me a picture and there was no doubt in my mind. You lying, traitorous bastard!"

Roy chortled dryly, even if it would have been smarter to opt for silence. Instead he unthinkingly muttered, "Like I haven't heard that one already today."

"Shut up! Your time to talk ended when you vanished off the face of the earth, leaving me to wonder what had happened to you! You said you cared for me and the next day you were gone!"

"I had to leave to protect you!" he argued just as heatedly, "I had agents bumping into me on the street, calling me at all hours, asking when we were going to make the bust. The only way I could throw them off your trail was by backing out!"

"Do you have any idea how many enemies I have, Roy?" Cheshire's tone softened drastically, and the archer realized to reason or excuse was going to undo all the pain she'd undergone in his absence. I thought you'd been kidnapped. Tortured. Killed. I began hunting down every crossed figure from my past looking for any shred of information about your disappearance, fearing you'd come to danger because of me. Always I came up with nothing."

Jade's face resumed the animalistic snarl he expected to have lurked many times behind that deceitful cat mask. "And here I come to find out that all this time you've been living the life! Taxpayers put a roof over your head and food on the table, and all you have to do is set down the remote control every so often to put away the bad guy. Must be nice to be the hero."

"Yeah, it is," a voice resonated from behind her.

Cheshire was only just quick enough to duck away from Aqualad's first attempt to cut her mission short: the high velocity orb of water made direct contact with the wall just a few feet away from where Roy had slumped against down. The archer's face was sprayed with sea water and the salt stung his eyes.

Roy's vision started to blur, but Cheshire's focus was more on the deep crater in the wall that indicated the point of impact. The sheer power of that blow had to potential to be bone crushing, and she shuddered to think what would have happened if it had come into contact with her spine. While as she reeled from this realization Aqualad took the moment to summon another amount of water for his use. The liquid obediently levitated between his hands.

"But you left," the assassin stated in a questioning way. The former prince raised an eyebrow.

"No, I just took a page from your book." The orb started to swirl rapidly in a technique that Roy, finally able to blink his eyes back into shape, had seen before. Actually, he'd been _hit_ by it before - the first time Titans East fought Steam Roller Aqualad had accidentally nailed his partner with this same explosive attack. "Get away from him," he hissed threateningly.

"He and I have a few loose ends to address."

"You can talk it out from behind bars."

Jade rushed him with an inhuman speed characteristic to her catlike persona, arms drawn back in preparation to strike but still wary of his armed status. But Aqualad held on to the violent flux until she put herself as close as possible, knowing he could not match her agility unless he first gained the benefit of proximity.

The fact snapped back into Roy's mind just as Cheshire was getting right into range for an attack. Only adrenaline and panic gave him the strength to lean forward and caution Aqualad, "Her right hand! It's poison!"

Another two seconds and this news would have come too late for the Atlantean to ditch the 'up close and personal' tactic, force Cheshire away by finally throwing his makeshift weapon and use the hesitation to gain some distance. He couldn't chance taking his eyes of Cheshire (who'd spared herself with a neat backhand spring to avoid certain injury), but Speedy figured the Atlantean was talking to him with that startled tone.

"Anything _else_ I should know?"

"Left hand is the anesthesia she got me with, and getting stabbed by those things is a bitch in itself."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

Water began jumping from the pool practically on its own volition, trying to get the better of Cheshire but unable to really amount to a worthwhile effort since Aqualad couldn't spare the time necessary to build up any rotation like before. These attacks came more quickly though, and Cheshire couldn't sidestep or jump over these so easily. Instead the assassin lashed out at each liquid projectile as it came: right claws tore straight through one coming at her face, left claws obliterated a would-be hit to the neck, and again the right claws sent a potential knock-out splashing harmlessly to the floor.

Roy was growing more and more frustrated with his helpless condition, and in turn, at the unfolding crisis as a whole. He didn't even have his bow. Suppose he regained function of his limbs. Then what? Would he help in capturing Jade, the same girl who he'd cared for enough to set free in the first place? Or would he use the element of surprise to overtake Aqualad and provide, yet again, his former lover with the means to escape?

It had come down to deciding which was more important to Roy: the past or the future.

"Enough!" Cheshire shouted, and by jumping on to the back of the sofa and using the leverage to put herself near Aqualad, Cheshire finally got in range to make an attack. The titanium alloy slid through the almost impenetrable Atlantean fabric with deceptive ease, cutting three holes into the specially made wetsuit and the muscular body beneath.

Roy didn't even realize it was he who had shouted "No!" upon figuring that the metal burrowing into the founding member of Titans East was of Jade's right hand, the poisonous blades. How he'd been able to choke out anything when his throat was so constricted and dry was unknown.

The knives gouged from the shoulder on down, digging deeper as they ran through the pectoral, and finally were yanked straight out with a fine mist of blood. Unlike Roy's earlier experience with Cheshire's blades the poisoned claws evidentially were not intended to deliver a painless cut: Aqualad cried out from the deep slashes, and the burning agony refused to subside. He recoiled; Cheshire kicked him in the chest. The former prince fell to his knees, clutching his injured frame.

"_Augh_, Poseidon!" Aqualad's forehead pressed against the floor as he writhed with his wound, trying to apply pressure yet the void on his uniform where blue was turning sickly brown only grew bigger.

"As an Atlantean your physiology is different," the assassin mused in a speculative, cold way, and Roy could tell instantly that it wasn't Jade standing there. She'd reassumed her role as Cheshire, the villainess who had earned herself the reputation as an icy killer. "but unless your race is extremely resistant to reptilian neurotoxins you will be dead within moments. Don't struggle: that will accelerate your heart beat and spread the venom more quickly."

Aqualad practically froze but the thumping of his heart couldn't be helped. He'd just engaged in hand to hand combat and the adrenaline was still causing his pulse to race. Cheshire hovered over him, staring down at his body like it was a curious oddity, and Aqualad felt an indignant flare surge up within him. Teeth grinding, he hissed, "You're smart enough to know even a half dead man can still pose a threat. Why not finish me off?"

"Because I have a few questions for only you to answer. Why not just enjoy these last few moments of your life? You've got nothing to lose."

Roy saw Aqualad's jaw set in an expression that literally was the royal prince within him putting on an unreadable front. It didn't make sense to the archer: aside from the occasioan wince Aqualad wasn't giving any indication of rebellion in light of the danger, which seemed so unnatural. He always fought back before.

The team watched that movie with What's-Her-Name in it like a month after establishing Titans East, and the ending scene was all about knowing when you're defeated and just accepting it. As the credits rolled the Atlantean, still trying to fit into his new role in a different society, had totally contradicted the lesson with his own feelings.

"What is it with you Terrestrials and romanticizing death? Books, movies, entire plays - all focusing on the idea that leaving this life is a glorious thing. Why is this so popular in entertainment?" he had asked the team. Speedy was picking popcorn kernels off the floor leaving Bumblebee to answer.

"Well, you've gotta understand that this nation you've entered has beliefs predominantly based on religion. One of the fundamentals of that faith is that a deserving soul will ascend to a greater world after death, so it's kind of a concept we cling to up here."

"Something greater?" he repeated. Roy had never forgotten the half-confused, half-annoyed look Aqualad had given at that explanation. "If life is so horrible then why do people run away from a speeding vehicle? Why scream for help at a threat of violence, or run away in the presence of a weapon?"

"Why ask a bunch of teenage heroes to come protect your crime-ridden city?" Speedy had interjected.

"Exactly! There's a sense of self preservation that every creature possesses because life is preferable to death. If a man is holding a knife in your face you're not going to accept being overpowered and let him stab you. You're going to fight back."

Bumblebee grinned throughout his entire argument. She hadn't known Aqualad very well even while working to take out Brother Blood, so watching him try to make intelligible deductions about surface civilization had been both enlightening and fairly amusing. Aqualad could get so frustrated trying to make sense out of the senseless.

"Al, I agree with you completely. I don't get it either, but when it comes to movies and books the public has this fantastic idea of what comes next. The cliché has flooded the entertainment industry, and as a result we Terrestrials," she only smiled more widely upon using his choice of words, "tend to celebrate dying."

Aqualad didn't appear to be any more receptive to the idea. He had muttered under his breath, "Okay, but we Atlanteans tend to celebrate being born."

Now the same young man who had declared such a strong love for life was laying at the feet of his own killer, dying, and asking her to hurry up the process. Could the change from undersea to surface really have altered his views so drastically?

_Maybe being betrayed by his closest friend is what did it. _Roy quickly, angrily shoved that thought to the back of his mind where it lingered on the edge of his conscience.

"Fine. It's not as though there's a lot else I can do right now," Aqualad groaned his compliance. Cheshire kneeled beside her prey, yukata and hair soaking wet and dripping, and got comfortable.

"Since I doubt you would want your last words to be lies I will believe everything you say here to be the truth. It really won't change anything in the long run no matter what your answers. I just have to know a few things, like how long have you been with our _dearest_ Speedy?"

He answered honestly without missing a beat. "Six months, not exclusively."

Jade gave a sharp glance Roy's direction. He shrugged, and against his better judgment said humorlessly, "I like to keep my options open."

No one laughed or smirked. Even Jade wouldn't have found a perverse amusement from his feeble attempt to alleviate the dire situation.

Why wasn't Aqualad fighting? It was all Roy could think about. It would be so easy for him to grab her ankle or wrist or hair or clothing. One good, solid hit to the face would be all the Atlantean needed to put an end to Cheshire once and for all, but he didn't. He just laid there, taking his imminent doom all into stride.

"Did he ever mention anything about me or any serious relationships he'd had?" she asked Aqualad.

"Not until he had to. He told me about you just a few hours ago."

"So, I don't even warrant a second thought in your future, Speedy? Well, that hurts my feelings a little, especially since I devoted so much time trying to find you. Alright, Gorgeous, who initiated your little fling?"

Roy stepped up before Aqualad could answer. "For Christ's sake, what's it matter? Why bother with _any _of this?"

"Let those whose minutes on this earth are numbered talk, Roy."

"I don't…" Aqualad cringed in pain which only got worse with every gasp for air. It took obvious effort for him to finish, "I don't remember."

"Jade, please! I know you carry antidotes. He doesn't deserve this!"

"Nothing I have is strong enough to help him. The poison's too toxic." She gave Aqualad a pitying glance. "It's getting harder to breathe, isn't it? The venom is shutting down your respiratory system and you will suffocate. If I could save you now I would, but it's just not possible."

Because Aqualad's condition looked to be deteriorating quickly Cheshire decided that the time for talking was over. There was no way to gage his reaction as she spoke to him gently, saying, "I want you to know that I never planned to hurt you. I'd hoped to not have to face you at all. You were never the enemy; just another victim of Roy's unbridled charms like I was. Try to understand, but it was you who attacked me first."

"No. You started this when -_ugh_… when you came… after him," he corrected. It was big talk coming from some one who seemed so small right at that moment, so fragile.

"So even after the lying, concealing of truths and deception he's done you can still find it in your heart to forgive him?"

"Forgive?" he echoed weakly, and Aqualad turned to look directly at Roy for the first time since he had entered the fray. "Can't forgive… but I still..."

Whatever he was wanted to say was lost to them: Aqualad's chest heaved one last time before caving, lungs expelling their contents for good and making no effort to breathe in again. In a peculiar show of compassion Jade ran her long, narrow fingers through the Atlantean's hair once before standing and leaving Aqualad to his own. If she felt any lasting distress it didn't arise in her voice, though.

"I've reached an impasse, Roy. I don't know what I'm going to do with you." she started with such a solemn expression that it caused the archer's muscles to physically tighten. His stomach, which had been feeling nauseous before, now felt as though he'd downed six shots of hard liquor before performing somersaults. "I didn't plan on this meeting ending any certain way. I most certainly did not plan on killing your boyfriend, but that doesn't change the fact that I didn't really think this through. I was so focused on getting to talk to you that I skimmed over that part."

"Kill me!" he hissed, jaw clenched, not giving a damn if she saw his grief. His eyes had welled so heavy with tears that when Roy shook his head the saline spilled out: one ducked away and splattered on his thigh while the other shamelessly started a trail down his cheek. It didn't matter to him. His teammate, his best friend, his lover, his rival -- dead.

Dead, all because Roy had pushed a statue over six inches.

_It's my fault. It's **always** my fault._

Jade sighed heavily. "I've considered that a few times. I actually swore to do so once or twice, but as much as I hate to say it, I didn't come here to kill you. I don't think I can. Though, at the moment it might be more merciful course of action. It would be so much easier for you to die here than have to deal with all this."

She didn't bother to look back towards Aqualad's dying - if not already dead - form. Jade knew Roy would understand what she meant. "If I ended you here there'd be no need to explain to your team why I killed him yet left you alive. It would be much simpler, but I think I want you to live, Roy. I want you to know hurt like the kind you left me with when you fled. I want you to get friendly with the constant sense of loss like I had to, but at least you'll know your lover is dead for sure rather than wonder about his fate. That was a comfort I never had."

She slipped the mask back over her face once more. Green eyes disappeared behind the narrowly painted ones with unnatural ease. "Most of all, I want you to live your life knowing that I am always out somewhere in your world. Maybe I will return to kill you in the night. Maybe I won't. Maybe I will come tomorrow. Maybe I won't. You will never be safe, Speedy, and since you seem able to clench your fists that means the sedative is wearing off."

The way she leaned off to one side was a sure sign to Roy that Jade was going to knock him out the old-fashioned way, using her tightly bound hair to do the deed.

"See you around, lover boy." But when she should have swung there was a moment of hesitation, not from any sense of loyalty like Roy had initially thought, but from a sharp yank to her head. Cheshire tried to twist herself to face the restraining force, trying to stab at it but unable to get away.

"I don't think so," Aqualad snarled, edging just out of the way of those blades once more. "In fact, your stay here is over!"

The Atlantean kicked Cheshire's legs out from beneath her; she hip took the brunt of the impact but there was no time to dwell on the pain. Though he'd usually gone out of his way to keep from seriously hurting female adversaries in the past ("See, Speedy? Chivalry isn't dead," Bumblebee had once remarked) it appeared the time for courtly generosity was done. Aqualad grabbed Cheshire by the wrist and hauled her to her feet with a grip that would undoubtedly bruise and twisted the assassin's arm behind her back. The kick to her back was something that could have laid out the toughest of opponents.

Trying to regain her composure, the young woman raged at him, "That poison was practically concentrated with venom. You should be dead!"

"I probably would be," Aqualad agreed, "if I hadn't washed off your blades before you cut me."

The cat mask turned to examine razor sharp edges, abruptly realizing the glistening in the light was caused by salt water she'd been drenched in rather than any homemade toxins. "You planned this from the start."

"It was too risky to try taking you out in one attack. You'd just evade it or recover, and it was only a matter of time until you could get a hit."

"So instead you lobbied smaller bursts of water at me, and each time I slashed through them I rinsed my own claws clean. Pretty quick," she complimented her adversary and resumed her attack pose, giving the Atlantean a wide berth. She was the faster and more dexterous of the two, clearly, but Aqualad had already proven to Cheshire that he could do significant damage if he got a hold of her. "You even had the audacity to make yourself vulnerable and ask why I wasn't going to finish you off while I had the chance. Why go through the whole charade?"

He snickered. "That wasn't being audacious. I was just curious to find out what your driving force is, and I'm pretty sure it's greed. For example," As Aqualad spoke a serpent-like body rose from a nearby pool and launched itself at its conjurer's opponent. "instead of killing me outright you chose to risk everything to get information to satisfy yourself, you're so intent on fulfilling your own needs. Now look where it's gotten you."

Small potshots were one thing, but no counterattack Cheshire could provide would be enough to save her from the full strength of Aqualad's manipulation of the water. She was forced back much to Roy's relief, only narrowly avoiding being taken down by the persistent flow regardless of her extraordinary acrobatic talent.

The archer looked down at his left arm, which he hadn't been able to move from its resting place since he'd been struck. It felt so heavy, but he knew if he really tried... His limb rose a few inches off the floor with an absurd amount of effort. Roy also noticed he could move his fingers now but the fine motor skills had yet not returned. He may not have had magic or super strength to outmuscle the foreign agent in his blood, but willpower was something he'd always possessed in abundance.

"Come on," he grunted, trying to get his arm to flex. Twitch. Anything, just so long as it would get his muscles moving again.

Having placed himself between Roy and his attacker, Aqualad had to look over his shoulder to get a look at Speedy. "You okay?"

"You scared the shit out of me, you son of a bitch!"

The ex-prince merely 'humphed', greatly underplaying the situation. "I had to catch her off guard _somehow_."

"If I wasn't so happy to see you alive I'd kill you!"

"You could try," Aqualad snorted, physically swinging his arm to guide the rush of water he'd pulled from the pool. The common room was starting to flood despite the floor's slight incline they'd created to prevent that exact problem. The Atlantean was pulling more from the immediate supply than what was rushing back in, saturating the areas with carpet and water logging the sofa as he tried to fend off one of the most deadly women in the world. "You know, I really hope you've learned something today-"

"Lecture me **later**!" Roy snapped at the nagging, "My bow's on the couch. Can you get it?"

"One can cheat death only so many times in a day," grunted the Atlantean in reply, still trying to keep the vicious figure from Speedy's past a safe distance away when he could barely keep up with her quick maneuvers and ducks for cover. He was so tempted to just send a tidal force wave at the intruder but something within pleaded for him not to. He chalked it up to being his damnable conscience.

Instead Aqualad ran to the sofa in the few seconds of reprieve his efforts afforded, not knowing just what the hell Speedy was planning to do with it exactly but grabbed the bow all the same. He also made sure to catch the strap of the quiver and slung the weaponry with his good arm towards his downed companion. In the chaos the throw was less-than-stellar, but the bow slid into Roy's leg. The quiver spilled it's contents out: only three arrows were within the crippled archer's reach.

Roy figured he would only need one. Coincidentally, the projectile that had skidded closest to him would be more than sufficient. He started to pull his arms, which were about as pliable and agile as day-old clay at that point, into the routine of picking an arrow and setting it.

"Aqualad!" he called, the arrow trembling in his barely capable fingers that struggled to even keep the string drawn, "Flood her!"

He didn't get what Speedy meant at first - had he not been hurling water at Cheshire this entire time? - and almost had to resort to asking for clarification. Then the light blue glow of the arrow made it all click into place. It was that old trick. Tournament of Heroes all over again.

The re-equipped status of her ex lover didn't go unnoticed by Jade, whom quickly determined that he was now the more immediate threat but could not escape Aqualad's barrage. She had no way of knowing just what Roy was about to throw her way, much less how to best counter it. Roy could almost see her expression beneath that mask. Her jaw would be clenched at having lost control of the situation so quickly, in a panic to figure out how to combat two capable enemies at once. Those vibrant green eyes would be flashing little hints of her shock; her fear and heartbrokenness. She was tired and hurting, and Roy felt it, too.

But the memory of her claw burying itself into Aqualad's body removed any sympathy his traitorous heart might have been harboring. Roy watched as Cheshire was blind sighted by Aqualad's unavoidable sending of water that just moved too quickly even for her, and she swept to the wall of windows that overlooked the bay. The undertow was so powerful that Jade had completely lost her sense of direction, and Roy used the confusion to release his Ice Arrow.

The impact of the water was strong enough, but the rapid freeze was too much for the windows suffering the brunt of the impact to endure. Simultaneously they shattered outward in a glittering display of glass, water and ice in the afternoon sun. Fresh air flooded the main hub of Titans East Tower, bringing with it the thick, distinctive smell of the vast ocean beyond.

When the chilly fog dissipated a rigidly shaped void was all that remained. Within the jagged and sharp angles of ice was the black shape of Cheshire, utterly still in her new frozen prison.

Neither Speedy or Aqualad said anything. Instead they stayed painfully hushed in the racket of the water pouring back into the pool. The Atlantean shifted his focus to applying pressure on his shoulder. Exhausted by the requirement to hold his weapon of choice, Roy just let go and collapsed. It was over, yet at the same time it wasn't. This was only the beginning of the trouble. One problem taken care of, a million more left to address.

In a transparent attempt to gauge Speedy's condition Aqualad murmured, "That's three windows we've destroyed fighting her."

Roy rested against the wall, closed his eyes. "Yeah. Pretty sure we don't have enough tarps to cover those either."

Aqualad clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, disgusted.

* * *

That night was the first time ever in Titans East history that Bumblebee's angry lecture about irresponsibility had been directed at Aqualad. The twins knew better than to loiter around during such a thorough chewing out and promptly left to hide in their room, and even Speedy had removed himself from sight. He was around the corner during the shouting, knowing that he was the one who should have been in the hot seat instead of the Atlantean.

"You should have called us! You knew she was in the Tower and you just charged in blindly, not thinking to get backup? There's no excuse! And we had _just_ finished talking about how dangerous Cheshire was! That's the sort of thing I'd expect from Speedy, but you know better-"

After listening in for several minutes Roy stalked down the hall to wait in Aqualad's room.

If their personalities didn't give away the fact that the two eldest boys of Titans East were polar opposites than their bedrooms would confirm it beyond all doubt. The archer's personal space was like a miniature home within a home, serving as a place to sleep, eat, work, and relax, among other things. Aqualad's quarters, on the other hand...

It was like a hospital. That was a good way of describing it. It gave off a feeling of sterility with the prim black-on-white fixtures and severe lack of personal effects. The few "normal people" clothes the Atlantean did own would be folded and tucked away neatly in just one of the six dresser drawers available to him; his walk-in closet was used more for linen storage than anything else. If the situation called for it Aqualad could easily "move out" in less than ten minutes and one would never guess he'd been there. Really, the only two things personal to him were his communicator resting near the alarm clock and the fact that there was a water bed beneath the soft, black comforter. Roy sat down on the bed, swaying with the pulsing motion of the waves.

Ten minutes or so passed before the door opened again. Aqualad had been forced to adopt some of that casual clothing he had - surely leaving the drawer nearly empty - because Tramm would have to take his unitard back to Poseidonis for patchwork and cleaning. Underneath the blue sweater was a bump along the shoulder where the bandage had been secured to his wound.

Aqualad didn't look particularly surprised to see that Speedy had infiltrated his domain. He just joined the archer on his bed and muttered unhappily, "You _are_ going to make this up to me somehow."

"So you got scolded a little. Big deal. You're still her favorite." Aqualad glared at him. Roy figured this was a good indication that it was time to change the subject. "How did you know she would be in the Tower?" he asked. "I couldn't call you guys and the system wasn't recognizing Cheshire as an enemy, so…?"

Suddenly Aqualad was looking very uncomfortable. The focus of his shiftiness was picked up off the bedside table and clicked on, and Speedy couldn't at first comprehend why Aqualad's communicator was displaying the main room of Titans East Tower instead of the default menu.

"I synchronized it with the internal surveillance system," he explained. Roy visibly sank.

"Guessing you didn't go to all that trouble just to make doubly sure Cheshire didn't run me in."

"Not… entirely. I mean, yes, I was concerned that she might be able to get in the same way she'd done before, but deep down I just felt like… A part of me wanted to keep an eye on you. To make sure that you didn't try anything stupid. That's why I stayed close. Speedy, I wanted to be able to trust you, but-"

The redhead in question waved him off, ending Aqualad rambling justification for his shady precautions. "You don't have to explain it to me. I know what I did was a serious breech of protocol, minimally. I'm more surprised that you settled for just watching me rather than telling Bee the whole story and demanding I go into lock up."

"I thought about it." Aqualad clicked his communicator off and set it back down in its place. "But then I figured nothing good would come from having everyone question your loyalty. I could handle watching you myself; there was no point in dragging everyone else in on it, too. If you tried to pull something then I would stop you, and if not... Well, then nobody would have to know."

"Watch out: that kind of thinking is exactly how I always get myself into trouble. You shouldn't judge too harshly: this could all someday end up biting you in the ass like it did me."

Aqualad's dark eyes narrowed. "It sure as hell better not or I'll murder you, Speedy. If Bumblebee ever finds out about your hand in this and learns that I knew all along it is going to be a bloodbath."

"You're secret's safe, Fishface. Doubt Cheshire's going to the public with any of this, and I'm not about to rat you out. I owe you too much."

Understatement of the year, Roy thought to himself. Not only had Aqualad essentially lied to the Titans to protect him, but the archer wasn't stupid: he knew the power the Atlantean had over water. Aqualad could have easily taken Jade out several times over in that fight, but he'd gone easy on her. Likely this was for Roy's sake.

That sat in silence for a time, both trying to not feel so awkward but failing horribly. It was a problem they'd never had before: in Titans East Tower prolonged periods of quiet were pretty much unheard of, especially when Speedy and Aqualad were in the same room. If they weren't arguing, nitpicking, or outright beating the snot out of each other then the heroes would resort to other methods of keeping their mouths busy. But that sort of thing was reserved for when the others were out of earshot, of course.

Today... the possibility of anything like that happening was pretty much zero. Roy would have to come up with another way to end the tension, and the only thing he could think of was wearing his heart on his sleeve. The water in the mattress lapped in response to his laying down on his back.

"I've spent a lot of my life living in the past. You know, thinking about doing things differently and how great life would be if I could just stop fucking it up. For the first time it occurred to me, as it was happening, that this would be one of those situations I'd either end up regretting forever or do something right for once."

More of an automated response than being genuinely curious, Aqualad asked, "So you think you can live with how you handled everything?"

"I know I can. It all really bothers me and I feel like a waste of human space, but the instant gratification thing only makes matters worse in the long run." Roy clasped his hands together, not noticing the age-old calluses that came from being a lifelong archer. "Besides, I need to stop clinging to this visage of Cheshire as I remember her. None of us are the same person we used to be."

"You've done a little growing up yourself. You almost sound as though you've learned some remorse."

"Wouldn't say that. Really, all I'm sorry for is that it came down to this," he finally confessed, but still he couldn't move his eyes from the floor. "Am I regretting that I set Cheshire free? No. Even if I had known then what I know now, I'd do it all over again."

Aqualad didn't notice how his own head cocked to the side ever so slightly, trying to understand but unable to. "You'd still let her go? That doesn't make any sense."

"It doesn't," agreed the archer with a wry grin, "but you gotta understand that at one time I really cared about her. There's a person under that mask that not you or Bumblebee or any other Titan has ever seen. I knew her better than anybody. I knew she would think through her options if given a choice."

"And no matter what, you wanted to give her that opportunity," said the former prince. He hadn't meant to sound quite so critical, but he wasn't about to apologize for it, either.

"My only regret is that she made the decision that she did. I'd really hoped that she would just take the opportunity to walk away, you know? Get out of the trade and start over. Then again, her choice mostly reassures me that it's not that she's evil. She's just… self interested."

"Speedy, she broke into our Tower and ambushed us! Not to mention that she laid in wait to attack you while you were defenseless, and then tried to kill me!"

The redhead made a frustrated gesture, frantically trying to convey his feelings into words that could maybe help Aqualad to understand. So far the effort wasn't proving to be very effective. "But think about it for a moment! None of it adds up to her being some maniacal super villain. It would have been easy for her to unfreeze the Brotherhood of Evil, but she didn't. I've never seen Cheshire not use poison on her blades except for the first night she attacked us, and yesterday? It was obvious her intention wasn't to come back and hurt anyone; she just wanted to talk, even though it didn't turn out that way."

"So let's just forgive her because she didn't do as much damage as she _could_ have." Aqualad, too restless to remain confined to the bed, stood up and began to pace the length of the room.

"I'm not trying to justify where she took this. I just want to understand... She is a criminal, and I have to accept that. She'll have to pay for it, but Cheshire's not like all the other bad guys we lock up." He hung off that for a short eternity before concluding, "She's worse than all of them put together. I can't fit her anywhere in my book, you know? I don't want to hate her because she used to be the one good thing I had in my life, but I can't stop hating her because she nearly took away the one good thing that I have now. Or, had."

The poignant look was enough to assure Aqualad that Speedy was, in fact, referring to him. The archer sat up and continued.

"Even if you never trust me again or refuse to look at me, it's still better than the alternative. I lost you for a minute there, and then I kind of lost myself. The idea of you being... I can't deal with that, because you've become a such a big part of me. I know this all sounds like some made-for-TV-movie drama bullshit, and I'm really not good at emoting, and... You get what I'm trying to say, right?"

The response was simple; very noncommittal. "Yes. I just wanted to see how long you were going to ramble."

Silence again. Roy couldn't stand it. "So, what comes next?"

"How should I know, you lovesick idiot? Where were we going before all this happened?" Aqualad leaned against the dresser. "What have we been doing? You and I are just way too different to be anything serious, but we're too attached to not be something. I wish I could fit it together, but we make everything so complicated by just being us."

He could get so frustrated trying to make sense out of the senseless.

"Well, that's a problem because I don't know how to be anything else but me, and I always liked you for being you. Changing any of that could seriously fuck the system."

Finally, Aqualad's stony disposition broke. A little smirk was what gave his weakening resolve away, but Roy wasn't dumb enough to think that he'd jumped the hurdle just yet.

"You know, Roy," the archer shirked hearing his name from those lips, "you said this morning that you didn't ever bring up Cheshire because there'd never been an appropriate time. Now would be the opportune moment to start re-earning my trust here."

"You can't use my name like that to get an edge. It's not fair. I don't know _your_ name," he protested.

"That's right. You don't," the former prince confirmed, folding his arms over his chest. "Now stop trying to change the subject. You are going to tell me about every little figment of trouble from your history no matter how insignificant. I don't even care if the matter is closed and over: now you get to bring anything that could possibly, no matter how remotely likely it is, come back to haunt us to the table." Aqualad fixed him with an unwavering look. "Get talking."

Roy felt the blood drain from his face. Recollections instantly jumped into the front of his mind, right on queue to be shared. Yeah, there was Cheshire, but other memories sprang up, too. Things like Green Arrow. The CBI. Needles. The lying. Black Canary. Green Lantern. Rehabilitation. The Suicide Squad. These were just some of the things that Roy realized he was going to have to fess up to after all this time.

"Um... Can I give you the abridged version?"

* * *

Okay, so the 3-5K word limit I mentioned last time? Threw it out the window. As it would turn out, this chapter was longer than the previous two _combined_, so you can call me a liar and a lazy one at that.

I'd like to mention the little fact that since I essentially have no literary planning skills, when you guys clicked on the link you might have wondered where I was going with this. I, too, was wondering the same thing. Seriously. I didn't know how this story was going to end until the words were typed. Then you end up with lame, corny finale like this and you just wasted like five hours of work writing something you _don't even like_. Bad literary habit. Don't fall into it like me. For shame.

I seem to have a track record for killing off Aqualad. I didn't do it this time, though! Woot.

There is something good coming out of all this! Since I'm about longficced out, I'm taking drabble requests. Doesn't even have to be Aqualad/Speedy. Just see my bio for the details. Go on: request!


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